The really solid thing that this essay does is offer a lot of sentence variety. That i said you could use to kind of chart your sentence variety, what I’ve done in the bonus materials for this essay is chart the sentence variety of one of the body paragraphs if you remember back to the bonus materials, there’s a sentence variety chart that I gave you. And you can see by taking a look at the numerous kinds and the different lengths of sentences that this really has a flow that is great there are many variety there. Additionally an advance is used by this essay vocabulary but it’s not just advanced, it really is used appropriately. So here the example is, ‘Free tutoring doesn’t aim in the middle of this problems schools that are facing a wider number of classes does by livening desire for school up to graduation.’ Therefore we’ve just seen an advance sentence structure and an advance use of vocabulary very strong commendable language. These are all the reason why why this essay earned an 11 that is for which you would you like to ideally be scoring ten to 12 in the ACT writing.
Now let’s take a good look at sample essay number 2.
Go on and go right to the bonus materials and print it out. Again i will start with reading the initial paragraph but it surely is likely to be important you to follow along for you to have a hard copy on front of. Alright, this one starts with ‘a problem that is major many high schools face is students failing to graduate, or dropping out before they usually have the opportunity. High schools over the nation have attempted countless different programs and techniques to make an effort to combat student’s failure, some proving more lucrative than others. In my opinion, offering a wider number of class options would do a better job of promoting success than merely offering free tutoring because ‘interest’ promotes a desire to learn and stay in school, something which not only getting help can do.’ which means this one starts out very similar to essay number 1 but if you noticed that one only scored a seven. So it is still into the half that is top a far cry through the 11 that the initial essay scored. Here we’ve got again an extremely position that is strong comprehension of the task. This writer says ‘offering a wider number of class options would do a better job of promoting student success and merely offering free tutoring because the interest promotes the aspire to learn and remain at school.’ Therefore we’ve got a posture, we’ve got reason, further more we’ve got the introduction of a counter argument. But you can already infer even they would have scored much higher on the essay if you haven’t read the essay from this that this writer must not do a good job of incorporating and powering up on that counter argument otherwise. So solid ‘task and position’ let us see where it falls a little bit short.
‘Complexity and development’ alright this writer says, ‘my school that is high really many students by offering peer tutors because learning from peers is more appealing than being re-taught by adults. ‘tutoring helps many who might be too frustrated I notice when I read this is the wording is a little bit confusing here and I’m not really sure what this is supposing because, honestly it’s making tutoring sound like a really good thing that they cannot understand their classes and want to drop out.’ Now the first thing. The position statement told me that this essay was going to be arguing for a wider number of classes. Which means this may be an attempted counter argument, but where it falls short will it be doesn’t completely dismiss the counter claim, it leaves your reader wondering exactly what is this person proving. In order that’s the place that is first falls short in complexity and development. The essay also says, ‘Offering many courses means that students will still learn, yet have a blast and start to become less stressed.’ Now this might be when you look at the body that is second and this may be the very first time that the writer has introduced this idea of ‘having fun and becoming less stressed’ and it is really unclear where that links to the position that ‘a wider variance of classes is better for learning.’ Therefore it seems types of unfocused when we’re talking about development and keeping it focused and supportive.
Finally in organization this essay is organized simply but effectively it is types of predictable but that is why it scores a seven and never very up at the top of the scale which will be at the 11. This essay says ‘In addition to more classes, having parents and teachers who care about students’ success, offering extra-curricular programs to boost an connection that is active the school, having assemblies and events to advertise school spirit and lots of other factors are typical essential in promoting success.’ Now they are really great ideas and definitely on topic, but one might expect you’ll see these ideas introduced in the introduction after which followed up on in the essay. However once you learn where this paragraph originates from may be the conclusion and that is one of several big no, no’s for that organization that is basic. That you don’t introduce ideas that are new the final outcome pay someone to do my homework because all it will is serve to confuse the reader. They aren’t anything that you’ve mentioned and none of your support relates to it. Which means this is the reason why this essay’s score is a little bit lower in organization.
‘Sentence structure and grammar.’ Alright this essay says, ‘Something that not help that is merely getting do.’ This can be among the relative lines that really stuck off to me in reality it’s the main position statement which will be among those sentences that readers are really focused in on, if you’re given your thesis or your situation, they want that it is clear. And also this wording is truly types of confusing, I’m not sure what things are talking about, what the something is and it’s just a bit that is little. So again we’ve got sort of this awkward usage of language which will keep this essay down in that range that is mid than shooting it as much as the higher range that shows a command for the language.
Alright the number of pitfalls that this essay come across that people curently have talked about and you would you like to make certain you avoid. This essay makes ‘hasty generalizations’ the relative line, ‘only students with a desire to enhance may benefit from such a program.’ That’s a jump that is big. To make certain that’s saying basically if I give tutoring to everybody when they don’t whole heartedly want to be there they’re going to flat out fail. And I also genuinely believe that’s a really big leap in flaw and logic. In addition gets a little bit wordy, ‘The most crucial, though, is a student’s desire to learn and to succeed;’ it simply continues on and on about this. And finally we talked about it ‘basic organization’ not just do we now have kind of candid transitions like ‘in addition’ to and ‘furthermore’ but we talked about the introduction of brand new ideas into the conclusion which really throws the reader for a whip. So coming back to wrap all of it up the seven indicators that the readers are going to be trying to find will be your ‘understanding of the task,’ the ‘position’ you are taking, the ‘complexity’ with which you talk about the presssing issue, the ‘development’ or support you provide, the way you organized your thinking and then how you deliver it along with your ‘sentence and word choice’ as well as your ‘grammar.’
In this episode we have taken a glance at two essays, both were solid they scored in the half that is top clearly we come across why essay one scored an 11 while essay two scored a seven.
So now you need to attack the ACT writing section, I know you’re going to do great that you guys have the tools and the information.